Change

November 19, 2016 Leave a comment

I’m sitting in my small one bedroom apartment looking out my dining room window. It’s a pretty view. Mature trees with turning leaves are scattered over a courtyard of green grass. There’s a sidewalk pathway curving through the middle. Right outside my window is a pergola that covers a couple of picnic tables, a gas grill and a charcoal grill. The winding path has a large fenced in pool on the far side. It really is pretty.

I left behind my life in a big house with a beautiful backyard because I felt like it wasn’t mine. I needed to find what my life is or will be. My life there felt empty. I felt despair when I tried to look down the road of my life. I didn’t know how to change anything. Not and be married still. I didn’t feel like I had choices. I knew something had to change or I wasn’t going to be anymore.

My job feels like I’m on a meaningless rat’s wheel. That certainly needs to change. I’m on my own now though, paying my own bills. I’m scared to quit this job because it makes great money. I wonder if my husband had told me to just quit this job, to take my time and find something that gives me purpose, I really wonder if I would be sitting here now.

I’m  going to a church that’s different from the one I grew up in. I made that change a couple of years ago. It  brought strife into my marriage. It was rebellion against being told what to do. I was trying to find a way get by, to get through life, to have a measure of control. I felt like I had nothing that was mine and this one thing was going to be mine.

My whole life up until this point was lived for others: my husband, my children, family, society, church. I was a good person. Now, I’ve left my husband, our divorce is final, and I’m still not happy. I still  feel the pull of pleasing other people, only now it’s in different ways. I have to break free. This has got to change.

Categories: Lifestyle Tags: , ,

Caramel Cake

December 13, 2015 Leave a comment

Yesterday was my mother-in-law’s birthday and I decided to make a homemade caramel cake for her. We bought one from Kroger last year but it was disappointing.

Pinterest comes in handy when looking for great recipes. I came across the recipe by Grandbabycakes a while back actually, and decided to go for it.

It did take some time but it was really good!

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If you love caramel, this is a recipe to try. The cake part tastes a lot like pound cake to me. It’s very rich.

Enjoy and Happy Holidays!

Life Happens

December 12, 2015 Leave a comment

I’ve FINALLY gotten past the shoulder on the sweater I started some time ago! Yay! With blocking, it should look just fine. I’m calling it the Five Year Sweater. But I have finished other projects, so I’m not a complete knitting loser.

My daughter and her husband just got in from Knoxville for Christmas break and my son should be getting in next weekend. I’ve got some time off coming up and I can’t wait to relax and enjoy some time with the family doing some Christmasy things like driving through Shelby Farms’ Starry Nights, maybe going to see the Zoo lights and definitely going to see Sisters at the movies!

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Today I’m going to try my hand at making a Caramel Cake for my MIL’s birthday. This will be my first from scratch caramel cake I’ve ever tried. Pinterest is one of my favorite places to get recipes from. Last night I had my work Christmas party and took some Peanut Butter Balls–recipe also found on Pinterest–they were a hit!

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One more thing–my husband and I had gotten in a rut with our meals at night, either having nachos (not so healthy!) or take out or the same old thing like tacos or spaghetti. A coworker told me about Blue Apron meals, so I decided to try it out. We love it! We get a shipment once a week with the ingredients for three meals packed in a refrigerated box. There are three big colorful recipe cards with clear directions.

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Chili-Rubbed Steaks with Quick Kimche and Tomato Rice–delicious!

So far there’s only been one meal out of 24 that I didn’t really like and it was because of celery being in it. We’ve also tried some of the wine pairings, which has been a fun way to make each dinner even more special. You may think the cost sounds like a lot but we’ve saved money by not going out to eat. The meals are pretty healthy as well, and have introduced us to a lot of foods we never would have tried or thought to cook with, such as parsnip, kale, different varieties of cabbage, and celeriac. Some nights I’ll feel like I don’t want to cook, but once I get started, I enjoy it. I also like that after a few weeks, you can get a free meal to send to someone else to try.

Hope you all are enjoying December, too!

Memorial Weekend

Let’s not dwell on how long it’s been since I last posted. We’ve had some life events, all good, that have taken up time and energy, along with wacky schedules, that have played into my online absence.

My daughter got married last July. It was a beautiful outdoor wedding, very small, with only family. She and her husband are still in school in Knoxville and live there most of the time.

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My son finished up his third semester in college, then decided to take a break to work and decide what he really wanted to do with his life. He plans to go back to school in the fall and major in Nursing (as of now!). I’m sure this has nothing to do with his decision to stay home for a semester, but his girlfriend did just graduate high school, and will be going to the same college as him in the fall.

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We took a cruise in December the week before Christmas with my husband’s brother and his family. We had so much fun! They have two little girls, ages 7 and 9. I was a little worried that it might lessen the enjoyment for my BIL and SIL, but it was great!

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I changed jobs at the end of March. Instead of driving an hour to and from a primary care clinic, I now work 10 minutes down the road at a testosterone replacement clinic! So much less stressful, and it’s working out really well. : )

My husband’s 50th birthday was also in March. I threw a big party for him with the theme of Doomsday Preppers. It was a blast!

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Also, my dad retired from his job, my sister graduated from her social work Master’s program, and there have been various health issues with some family and close friends. It’s been a year filled with all the usual happenings that make up this life.

I have been knitting along the way. When the new Hunger Games movie came out, I was immediately struck by the very vogue cowl Katniss wore in the opening scene. Apparently I wasn’t the only one, because I was able to Google it that night and find a pattern someone had already posted that was a similar version!  I bought the pattern, got the yarn and went right to work. It didn’t take long. I then found that Lion Brand Yarn had also made a pattern, so I actually combined the two to make this:

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I’ve also completed a pair of socks, an afghan (made out of leftover yarn), a baby blanket, two baby hats, several boutique yarn scarves that I gave as Christmas presents, and I don’t remember what else! I still have a sweater to finish due to problems with the shoulders. It’s the one I posted pictures of last year, sadly. I plan to take it up to my local yarn store so Bridgett can look at the pattern to see if it’s written correctly. It may be just me : ).

Now to enjoy the day! Hope all of you have a good Memorial Day!

Summertime

Obviously I’ve not been sitting at my computer much this last month! I’ve been working outside a lot in my spare time getting our yard in order. My husband is constantly reorganizing the landscaping that our house came with, moving bushes and putting in new ones. It looks good so far. He’s putting in cedar bushes in place of the azaleas around our pool and moving the azaleas more to the back of the landscaping. He just likes the look better. I don’t have a problem with it, as long as I can see the azaleas when they’re in bloom for those wonderful 2-3 weeks in Spring. We also painted our deck a redwood color. At first it seemed a little much, but now I think it looks just right. The deck should last a lot longer, too.

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The herb garden is going crazy, tomato plants are growing, and the blackberry bushes are doing well, too. No blackberries yet, of course, I just mean they didn’t die after we planted them! I love all these plants in my yard but my allergies have been crazy, despite my nasal spray, Zyrtec and Singulair. I may consider allergy shots if it gets any worse. I’m eating local honey, too, probably not enough, though. Oh, well, it’s worth the price to live here.

I’ve put my colorwork sweater aside for awhile as I’m making some gifts for three ladies who are giving a bridal shower for my daughter. I’ll post pictures after I’ve finished the projects, which are felted crochet pot holders.

I finally picked the material that I want to use to recover the wingback chairs I got off Craigslist. Here’s a picture:

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I decided to go with a material that makes me happy when I look at it, instead of something subdued that would match anything. I may regret it later, but the pop of red is really pretty! I think it’ll look great up against my blue walls.

My son, who’s 19, hasn’t found a job yet, so he’s getting to do odd projects around the house for my husband during the day. Today he’s going to pressure wash an old wooden bridge that was in our backyard when we bought the house, then we’re going to paint it the same color as our deck.

Now I need to get going while I have time off! Hope not to take so long to post next time. : )

Body now finished!

April 27, 2013 Leave a comment

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On another note, our backyard looks so beautiful! My husband had cut our azaleas back at the wrong time the first year we lived in this house, and it’s taken them a couple of years to recuperate.

March

March 30, 2013 Leave a comment

March is a really busy month for me; my husband and children all had birthdays this month! Now my kids have different Spring Breaks, too, so I’ve tried to make their favorite foods while they’re at home. At work, I have two co-workers who have younger children, and they both took off the week of Spring Break. That left me to answer to any pressing issues and picking up slack where needed. It made for a very busy month. I didn’t get to work too much on my knitting, but thought I would post a picture today to show the progress I did make.

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This is the back. I have about 4 more inches of this to do to complete the length of the armholes, which start after the second section of color work.  I’m not tired of this project yet!

I had bought some Baker’s unsweetened chocolate squares a few weeks ago because I knew I wanted to make Molten Lava Cakes at some point while my kids were home. The four of us have gone on two Carnival Cruises in the past, and the sit-down dinner was always a highlight of the day. Not only was the food delicious, but, in addition to each night’s planned desserts, the lava cake was offered as a standard menu option. We have since been in love with these! I baked them for 12 minutes and the consistency was perfect; cake around the outside with a warm chocolatey melted middle. Top your cake with some  vanilla ice cream to offset the not-too-sweet chocolate flavor. You have to try this!!

Have a lovely Easter weekend : )